As I Drink My Tea and Absorb Some Music

At this moment, as my fingers tickle the black lettered squares of my keyboard, it is March 7th. So I have entered my seventh day of abstinence from all visual media which includes television programs, movies and internet videos. And truth be told, I don't miss it all that much and that's a pretty surprising thing to admit. I find this strange decision to be rather liberating from the compulsive desire to switch on the ol' blu-ray player and take in a flick whenever I get bored. And I've been enjoying it so far. Now admittedly, the first day was the worst because I cut out cigarette smoking as well and on that day I had to go to my mom's house and she smokes like a chimney and her television is always on 24/7. So since I had no choice but to be around a running television, I made amendments to my rules on the TV thing when visiting my mother and those amendments are as follows:

Article 1: 'If I find myself in front of a running television, I mustn't operate the remote control or have any say in the decision of what is being watched on said device.'

Article 2: 'While sitting before a running television screen exhibiting narrative or "reality" programming, I must only invest a minimal amount of my total attention span while using the majority of my attention span on an alternate activity." (In this case, the alternate activity was fixing my mom's computer, which I later deduced was irreparable.)

So by putting these two amendments into effect, it made watching TV at my mom's house even more difficult than NOT watching it. Which resulted in me getting stressed,which then resulted in me desperately wanting a cigarette.

And there was a pack of cigarettes right in front of my fucking face.

What an unforgivable bitch temptation is.

So as a human being that backslides and goes back on his word because that's in his or her nature. I broke and smoked a cigarette on the very first day of my month long pledge to give up all my lazy and nasty habits.

But I only smoked ONE. The LAST one. The VERY last one.

That was on March 1st. 

Of course I had to go back to my mom's house on March 5th. Take a wild guess what was staring me in the face while I was there...

You know you want to put me in your mouth...

If I had left my mom's house when I planned to, if maybe, I could stop my mind from screaming for the smooth flavor of those filtered smokes, I would have gone home with the non-smoking pledge still intact...

But I didn't.

So I smoked one more. And that was definitely the LAST one! But I made an effort to make sure I didn't enjoy the cigarette that much. So I drank a large glass of milk beforehand. And if there is one beverage that doesn't mix well with cigarettes, it's milk. So the smoke tasted nasty amid the milky aftertaste, but it also made me weak in the knees as I was filled with a strangely euphoric high. But it was while smoking that cigarette that I came to the most upsetting epiphany: I am more addicted to cigarettes than I am to movies.

And this is coming from a guy who loves film more than any form of leisure on the planet. I would never choose a cigarette over a movie-- even if that movie is 'Jack and Jill' (which wasn't even that bad anyway). But the compulsion to smoke, that chemical wiring that develops after inhaling the proper amount of nicotine is a tough nut to crack. And what's weird is, I'm not even that addicted to cigarettes. As I write this, I have zero desire to light up and doubt I will develop any desire soon afterward. My smoking habit is a proximity infatuation-- which means if there are cigarettes in my house that have yet to be smoked, it'll take a shitload of will power to not smoke them. 

But I admit my folly and hopefully I can forgive myself for slipping. Besides, it was only two cigarettes in a one week period. I usually smoke three packs during that time. And as far as drinking is concerned, haven't touched a drop of the stuff. And as for television... well we covered that at the beginning of the blog. Haven't watched one movie, one television program, no Netflix, no Hulu, no YouTube. I haven't played any video games on my phone and I haven't surfed the web for any other reason than to research writing projects and to read the news.

I've mostly just spent the majority of my week listening to music, reading the seventh book in Stephen King's Dark Tower series, planning out my first novel and making notes on a new screenplay idea. I'm not doing as much writing as I would like. In fact, this blog is the most productive thing I've written all week and that is pretty unacceptable. Hopefully over the remaining 24 days of March, I'll unlock some long reserved creativity and flood pages upon pages with words like water from a broken levee.

Stay tuned for updates, gang. The month is only getting started.